National Tramp Day

Otherwise known as April 11th.
Otherwise known as MY BIRTHDAY.


I don't have a lot to say. I don't really have any adventures that are worthy of my birthday post.
I wouldn't want to take anyone's minds off the fact that today is my birthday by indulging them with some mellifluous tale. But I mean...birthdays are adventures. Or atleast they're just as wondrous, when they're mine.

So this birthday went swimmingly. I still can't believe 'swimmingly' is an adjective. It actually kind of applies well to my birthday because my best friend Vamp took my on a surprise vacation to the pool!
The pool was great...Shocking, since I was under the impression that we were going on a shopping trip, but GREAT since I love swimming and any chance to be half naked in public.

We even made a few friends at the pool! There were a couple girls who I tried to befriend, although they were fat brats.  And I got to know the lifeguards, one of which looked like Jamie Bell (And his name was James!) and one of which was extremely shy and awkward. We also had a suitor, so I guess the whole half-naked thing went well. We won his heart by chasing him, spraying water at him and calling him Rainbow Shorts which would probably seem normal if we had ever met him before.

Anyway, that was Saturday. I spent Sunday tanning and I developed minor sunburn on my legs and shoulders. IT HURTS SO GOOD! ...Like virgin sex.

Well TODAY is Monday. My official birthday. Birthdays are magical because of many reasons, most of which all involve things that happened to me today.

Top Ten Great Things About Birthdays

10. People you never talk to posting on your Facebook Wall.

9. Being wished a Happy Birthday all day.

8. Sometimes people put crowns on your head.

7. Getting closer and closer to being legal.

6. The birthday buzz that makes work easier.

5. Feeling like the world revolves around you for one day.

4. Being able to say "But it's my birthday..." to get what you want.

3. People sing to you...all day.

2. You get presents for no reason other than being alive.

1. Birthday suits.

_______________________________________________

I think you can learn a lot about me from this list. I LOVE birthdays. I feel really special, like I'm a queen, or God, or an iconic sex symbol (It's my dream to be one) Birthdays make me feel like for one whole day everyone in the world is bowing down to me because it's my special day. I am well aware of how unrealistic this is, as millions of other people probably felt the same way today.

I love how people sing to you. All day. Songs. People sing me Happy Birthday songs and I j'adore being sung too. This is the only time of year people just all come together and sing to me, though I think it is an event that should be repeated every weak.

I love how on my birthday, I get presents for being alive. It makes me feel like people are worshipping me and giving me gifts as a way to say "Thank you, Tramp, for gracing us with your prescence all these years! Here, I brought you a gift as a celebration of your existence!"

I also love my birthday because my father makes me Birthday Brownies. I don't really like cake. Actually, I can't stand cake.

How I Feel Whilst Eating Cake:

1st Bite: TOO MUCH FROSTING! I think I may throw up from all this sugar in my mouth at once. There is too much for it to be good anymore. Quick, take another bite and get a little cake to make the pukey feeling go away.

2nd Bite: This is pretty tasty. A decent ratio of frosting to cake.

3rd bite: The frosting's gone...but atleast the cake part is good.

4th bite: Okay more cake. Cake is good. Oh god...I'm so sick of this flavor...it never changes...and god its taking forever to chew all of this! It's starting to make my mouth tingle....OH GOD! GET ME SOME WATER!

5th Bite: Oh god...I'm so full....Kiiiilllll meeeee.....

_________________________________________________________

So instead of cake, my dad bakes an amazing batch of brownies. He makes the BEST brownies I've ever tasted, and unlike cake, I never get sick of the flavor. Screw you, cake.

Soooo....I hope you enjoyed this Birthday Ramble, brought to you by Tramp!

And you better wish me a happy one...or you may die!

Oh I completely forgot! I have to mention the ammaaazzzingg gift I got.

Well, I got a lot of great gifts but among those was a ..... 32 INCH FLATSCREEN FOR MY BEDROOM! That's damn good for a teenage girl's room. I love it....my precious....

I don't have cable on my TV yet, but I can still watch DVDS and play video games until them.

I love my TV. It's beautiful and shiny. And it's a Vizio, and whenever I turn my TV on the letters in VIZIO light up. It's lovely. I would name by television, but I don't think a mortal name could capture the magnifique of this television. Maybe I'll call it something Greek...

Older, but still yours,

-Tramp