The World's Last Hipster

Why I May Be the World’s Last Hipster. If you’re reading this, chances are you either hate hipsters with a passion, or you have a passionate desire to be a hipster. If you’re the latter, it’s likely you already call yourself a hipster. However, if you were in the first category, it’s possible that you actually are a hipster.    What is a HIPSTER? [   If you are way to hipster to even know the term hipster, stop reading right now. You’ve lived a nice life. Don’t ruin it for the sake of hipsters. ] Most people know what a hipster is, or at least they have some idea. A hipster, in its original form and meaning, is generally  a person who doesn’t conform to society norms or stereotype. Hipsters say they want to be different, they don’t follow trends. At one time, there had to be a real hipster. Someone who just didn’t like the trends but liked unconventional things and followed them. And I admire that person. They were a real person who only cared to do what they liked, not what anyone else liked. They were a true hipster.   The evolution of the HIPSTER: That first hipster must have seemed like a pretty neat person, because others began jumping on their bandwagon. People renounced their old likes and instead favored the same likes of the hipster. People began battling to out-difference and out-weird the other hipsters. Gradually, being a hipster became a trend, and with that, every hipster became a hypocrite. The original goal of the hipster was to not follow things simply because they were cool. But when hipsters became cool, people started being different so that they could also join the hipster trend. Hipsters became the most hypocritical people on the planet. They renounced trends to be Hipster, but to be Hipster was to follow a trend, and on it went, until the hipster became the common, stereotyped beast it is today. I found a really good definition on Urban Dictionary to highlight what I’m saying here: (hip-stur) n. A 20 something white, upper-middle class suburban transplant to any gentrifying neighborhood in any major city, but Brooklyn, NY in particular. Disheveled, hand-me-down appearance to present the image that they are not a slave to trends or fashions(ha!) They typically wear thick, Andy Warhol-like glasses (whether they need them or not), unshaven, unkept shaggy hair and retro Converse sneakers sometimes with no laces. The term is often used as a pejorative considering a "hipster" detests being called a "hipster."     Who is the last HIPSTER? I’ve always hated hipsters. I thought their look was ridiculous and so was the fact that they were their own fallacy. I rejected their ways, I thought I was just happy with the trends, thanks. But as I grew older, I noticed that I didn’t follow the trends. For example, the “in” clothing changed, and I did not. I wouldn’t just wear whatever I saw on a Mannequin, I still had my own sense of style – nothing outrageous like a hipster, and nothing that even comes from a category or trend, my style was simply what I thought was cute. So when bright red jeans and flowed pants became popular, I hung back. I thought people looked ridiculous in them, I was happy sticking to my blue jeans, skirts and yoga pants. When all of my friends started buying smartphones, I continued making calls on my Env3, which I regret to say that I regarded as “adorably vintage.” I asked my friends why they wanted an iPhone when they already had an iPod and a regular cellphone. Weren’t those the same thing? Why would you want a phone so big? Why would you want  phone that breaks every time you drop it? I thought my Env3 was perfectly efficient. A good size, free internet, a seemingly unending memory and indestructibility were included among it’s features. I once dropped it in a river, it was fine. Once it sat outside in the road for a rainy week, getting soaked and run over constantly. It still turned on. The Hunger Games came out and the world went crazy. “Read it!” All my friends said. “It’s so good!” They said. I picked the book up and immediately thought, “What a badly thought out rip off of Battle Royale.” Before the Hunger Games came out, I could have told any about the concept of Battle Royale and they would have thought it sounded sick and disgusting. But the Hunger Games, which suddenly became popular was, according to my friends one of the “deepest, most touching stories” they’d ever read. I realized that I had a tendency to dislike trends, and when it occurred to me that that made me a hipster I grew angry. I didn’t want to be one of those stupid brainwashed followers. I even found some trends that I did like, and I was so proud of them, as if they were my shield against being a hipster. But that is why I am the World’s Last Hipster. I don’t follow trends, I do what I want. If I like a trend, I follow it. If I think the trend is stupid, I turn my back on it. Hipster-wannabees are not hipsters because they are trying to follow the hipster trend. But I am not, I think the trend is stupid. And the fact that I am don’t follow trends and also have no desire to be a hipster, ultimately makes me possible the only true hipster.*   *I guess I may not be the last hipster. I’m actually sure there is someone out there even more hipster than me. But I have not found them yet, although I would like to. Together, we could wipe the hipsters out and just be who we want to be.   -Tramp Now that's just funny.