Becoming an Iconic Sex Symbol

"I have a dream."

     - Martin Luther King Jr. 

First and foremost, I'd like to congratulate you on surviving the 'rapture' that was supposed to occur last Saturday. Since we're all alive, I think we shall all keep striving toward our dreams just like Martin Luther King! Today, in honour of the continuous survival of our hopes and aspirations, I shall tell you about my personal dream.

I have a dream that I will someday be noticed for my talents of seduction and sexual appeal. I have a dream that my name will be on Wikipedia. I have a dream that I shall be known for my famous deerwoman pose. I have a dream, that someday I will be awarded the title of Iconic Sex Symbol.

This blog post is going to be dedicated to the things I'm doing ahead of time, so that I can assure I can get my Iconic Sex Symbol position at a later time in life. These kind of things take strenuous planning and often many a gymnastics class, so I need to start preparing now.

First off, a little reseach.
This is a clipping of the Wikipedia page on Sex Symbols:

A sex symbol is a celebrity of either gender, typically an actor, musician, supermodel, teen idol, or sports star, noted for their sex appeal. The celebrity "star system"—the tabloid papers, paparazzi, and gossip talk shows—play an important role in creating and sustaining the public perception of which stars are viewed as attractive. These media industries are in turn sustained by a strong public demand for sexually alluring photographs or footage of celebrities,^{[citation needed]} including both posed, scantily-clad publicity shots for magazines like Maxim and unauthorized beach or nightclub photos taken by paparazzi with telephoto lenses

From the above, I have made a list of some necessities required if this Sex Symbol Dream is going to work out:

- Be either male, or female. Probably not both. [check]

-Should be famous and noted for sexual appeal. [Must become famous for having sexual appeal. Though that supermodel idea could work out! It's worth mentioning that my measurements are very similiar to Marilyn Monroe's. . ]

-If people aren't making up horrible lies about you in the tabloids, you're doing it wrong. [Have Vamp feed the paparazzi some of my 'dirty secrets'. Some ideas for this are STD's...Boob implants...etc.

-Must be featured in some kind of magazine that teenage boys will keep under their beds and take out when the girlfriend's not enough. [Can't check that off yet, but hey, I can see if playboy's hiring.]

-Nudy shots that SEEM like they were taken without my permission must be leaked onto the internet. [Attend several topless beaches and maybe just ditch shirts and bras altogether. And hell, while we're at it, screw the pants!]

Then, I was going to investigate the Wikipedia biographies of former sex symbols when I realized that heaven forbid many people had been removed from the list. I KNOW Wikipedia can be edited and isnt always 100% trust-worthy but it's also somewhat moderated and has those helpful citations.
Well, that iconic sex symbol page was edited severely. As you may have noticed in that paragraph I took from them, the citations are needed. And if you had looked at the list, you would see that many many many sex symbols are currently removed from it. Some stupid bimbo even took Marilyn Monroe off the list! Are you saying that Marilyn Monroe is not a sex symbol? Much of the world would disagree.
So I decided to search other sources than Wikipedia.
I did some googling on 'becoming an iconic sex symbol' and I didn't find much of what I was looking for.
As a matter of fact, I didn't find much at all.
But I think I know enough about how to become one by now.
So I just need to work on putting this plan into action.
Step 1 is to be noted for my sexual appeal. And by "noted" I mean really fricken famous.
This how I'm going to approach this.

1. Red.
It's a fact that red is the sexiest color.
So, if I use the power and allure of red, my sexiness should be thereby increased.
Therefore, I must expand my closet and add in some more red. Infinitely more red. Bright shades of it in every form of clothing, shirts, pants, shoes, dresses, lingerie- you name it!
2. The Deerwoman
The deerwoman shall be my go-to sex position. It will be Tramp's characteristic move, and the fact that I have my own move is pretty sexy. And if anyone doesn't think it is sexy, well no worries, I'll have a few other adventurous positions lined up. ;)
3. Pure Seduction.
Pure Seduction is the perfume I use. It comes from Victoria's Secret and is basically the best thing since flavored condoms. It isn't those disgusting perfumes that are so obnoxiously strong that they molest you with their stupid flowery scents. You don't smell this perfume too much, unless you get close enough ;).
That little trick can definitely lad you some sexy times.
It's also pretty great because whenever I get mildly wet (like say, sweating) the smell like releases and suddenly a huge wave of fruity scents roll off of me, to cover my bodily odors.
It's magically sexy!
3. Battalion of suitors.
If I'm going to be noticed based on my outstanding sexual allure, I'll definitely need some suitors who religiously court me, hoping that someday I'll wander off into a dark alley whilst drunk to the point of zero comprehension. I'll of course be using the color red and my Pure Seduction and of course the Deerwoman to gain all these suitors. I think I shall start collection my army of admirers right away, because I can't be noticed for my sexiness if I don't have a pile of men with bulging pants spreading word about how damn hot I shall be.

To summarize what I have discovered, I made a math equation!
(Red + Pure Seduction + Deerwoman = Battalion of suitors = Iconic Sex Symbol.
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Another thing I'd like to do is make "Iconic Sex Symbol" a better known term. The wikipedia page is messed up, Google has nothing helpful, and even Urban Dictionary had very little to say about it. (It's a rare day when something that has 'sex' in it doesn't have a million raunchy definitions on urban dictionary)

Surprisingly, there is not much out there about it. I shall make it my personal goal to fill the web with a better knowledge of Iconic Sex Symbols. But that is another dream, one that must wait to be fulfilled after I complete my current dream.
Actually, when I have been noted for my sexy appeal and are horrendously rich, maybe I will start some kind of charity or fundrasier or awareness event for Iconic Sex Symbols. I mean, a good Iconic Sex Symbol always gives back to the public. Gosh, this is just coming together!

I hope in making this blog post, I have caused you to think about either A) the steps you must take in order to solve your dreams or B) My extreme sexiness.
(It's totally B.)

Sexily yours,
-Trap