The Hooker Anthem

In this world there are many people-

Of every race, every size, with brown hair, with blue eyes

Some are fat, some are thin, some are mean while others grin

They're all great, but they're not first rate!

Cause the very best kind of earthling

Is the kind clad in only a G-string

Donning red lipstick, making hearts tick,

For money, she'll suck any old dick

The best type of person is a hooker

They get action, even if they're not a looker

Everybody likes a prostitute

(Except those guys who stab them and hide their bodies in the laundry chute)

But hey! That's what pimps are for

They protect those awesome whores

Everybody loves to see a bimbo

Bending back to do the limbo

& Some horny guys like to take them home

Those hookers know how to make them moan

Then the hooker gets paid for giving naked hugs

and she spends the money on illegal drugs

A few days later, she'll come crashing down

and the story comes back around

some desperate guy with shoulders slumping

pays the hooker to do some humping

Yes it's true, everyone likes a tramp

They'll sex you up until you get a cramp

You can try any position

Without asking their permission

Touch em', whip em'. suck em', spank em'

Just as long as you don't shank them

Later they will buy some pot

While you're still feeling spicy hot

Yes a hooker leaves guys feeling good

When the girlfriend's "not in the mood"

If a guys just hit the bank,

he'll be delighed to come acrosss a skank

When the girlfriend's away he can take a chance

and pay a hooker to seductively dance

By taking off her dress,

the hooker relieves you of your stress

It's great how when you're all alone

Somewhere there's a hooker for you to bone

Yes it's true, a hooker makes a day better

When she reveals whats beneath her sweater

For some, a hooker is the only way

to lose their world-of-warcraft loving virginity!

It only costs a couple bucks

To ensure that you're night wont suck

And that's why everyone loves a whore

They're willing to give you sex galore!

But it's not always sexy magic

Sometimes hookers leave things tragic

The girlfriend finds out, requests you leave her be

and meanwhile you've contracted an STD

It's better to have a ball and chain

Then to have your reproductive organs in fiery pain

And the hooker who made your penis a rocket?

She only cared for the money in your pocket

And while you're dealing with infected loins

She'll be off spending all your coins

And if you think your lifes gross?

she's just died of a drug overdose

Now her body's gone so limp

and you owe money to her pimp



Ultimately, it would be best

To have stuck strictly to your girlfriend's chest

If only you had kept your class

While waiting for your sex drive to pass

Then you might not be alone and single

With only your right hand to help when the testicles tingle.